GERMS!!!

I'm a freshman. This means I need to take General Ed courses. I'm also an Italian major. This means I'm not required to know any math or chemistry, so I get to take awesome General ed courses, such as Mushrooms, Molds, and Society.

In class we had a hands-on observation lab, part of which was taking two sterile agar plates, touching one with your hand, and then using Purell and touching the other, to see what would grow. When we got our plates back, I was disappointed to see I only had two tiny colonies of bacteria growing on my before Purell plate, though my professor was impressed with my good hygiene. We were allowed to take the plates home and do whatever we wanted with them, so I decided to leave mine and see what would happen. I was also left with a pristine agar plate, thanks to the germ-fighting power of Purell, so I decided to see what would grow if I touched it with super-dirty hands. I didn't wash my hands for a whole day, going to class, work, and riding my bike as normal before putting my nasty fingers all over half of the plate. I also decided to see what was growing in my mouth, so I rubbed a Q-tip all over my tongue and put it on the other side.

Here are the plates after three days. As you can see, I am a pretty disgusting individual:


This is the original agar plate I touched in class. The yellow colony is pretty gross, it has red stuff leaking out of the top. The brown colony was originally white.


On the left is where I touched the plate with my finger. On the right is where I touched with with a Q-tip that has been in my mouth.

In conclusion, my mouth is pretty gross.

GOOOOOOOOOOO DICKS!

So I'm a freshman at UC Davis. All around town there are banners featuring our mascot, Gunrock the horse.

Here he is:
However, every time I see him, something about him strikes me as being slightly off...

Let's flip the image and roate it 90 degrees to the left:




Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there you go. A big, veiny penis hidden in my school's mascot. Wonderful.


No wonder there are so many dicks here.

Story Time

So I spent a year studying in Italy. I worked as an English tutor for food money. Though I have many stories about being an English tutor, those will have to wait for another day, as this one has to do with the journey to work.

I'd usually get to the various homes I taught at by subway (my love of the Milan subway system is far to great to be contained in this post). As such, I'd have to walk maybe a block or two to reach the apartment. On one such walk I noticed a cat, just ahead of me on the sidewalk. Its back was facing me, and I just knew that I was going to, no, had to pet this cat. As I got nearer I started with the baby talk anyone whose ever been in the proximity of a cat knows all too well. The baby talk continued until I got close enough to the cat to bend over and prepare to pet it, at which point it turned around and

AAAAAAAAUGH!!







JESUS CHRIST IT'S AN ALIEN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Yes, the cat had a huge blue-green-black EYE and it was STARING AT ME WITH IT. I jumped back in shock and walked quickly past the cat. In retrospect I felt kind of bad, I mean, I'm sure demon cats from hell need love too, but come on. What if the EYE is contagious?

Anyway, that was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.

PS:
A few months later I took a trip to Cinque Terre and photographed this cat:


Though obviously blind and not quite the spectacular proportions of the huge, blue-green-black EYE of the previous cat, I think it's safe to say that alien cats with a single big, creepy eye are taking over Italy.

Undeniable Evidence that Chickens are mammals

I was cleaning up after lunch when I noticed something odd about the egg I'd just cracked...






Yep. An egg boob.

Total Eclipse of my Shaky Hands

I just got back from watching the total lunar eclipse. It's good to know that my brand-new camera and teenage reflexes were up to the challenge.




That last one kind of looks like those chains of shapes you could make go down ski slopes and stuff in that computer game Thinkin' Things. God, I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.


And for those curious, this is what the eclipse really looked like (courtesy of www.newscientist.com):

How to Reach Nirvana starring Il Buddino

Please form an orderly line. We can't have all kinds of disorder in Nirvana, you know.

Take a purifying bath.
(Just don't look under the bubbles...)

Hurry! The Enlightenment is almost ready!

Get into the yoga position known as The Inverted Buddino and begin to meditate.

You will feel a strange sensation in your head. Don't worry, this is completely normal and means you are on the path to enlightenment!


You're almost there! Aren't you excited?

But please don't get too excited.

(eeeewww)

Now meditate in a cool environment for three to five hours. We'll be back shortly.

This may sting a little...

And here we go...


Isn't this exciting?


Congratulations! You are all now enlight--






Ohhhh shit...


But nothing that a little paper and some toothpicks can't solve! Congratulations, and welcome to Nirvana!

We'd like to remind the general public to please not eat the Englightened Ones.


OH GOD YOU'RE EATING ONE AREN'T YOU?

Stupid girl...




About the Buddinos:

I picked these up at a shop in Milan called Love Therapy. Buddino is a play on the Italian word budino, meaning pudding. This was a test run. I used Jello flan. I added the caramel sauce first, which is why they came out headless. In all, a fun and delicious experiment.